Livinganddreaming’s Weblog

Living, Hoping and Dreaming after miscarriage……….

so after the wait…. December 9, 2008

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I m pregnant!…..yes , it was confirmed by a blood test on Monday…The news are still sinking in…..I am Happy, and consider myself to be extremely lucky! I know I am so thankful……The thing is I m scared….Scared of being happy, and scared of what I know can happen…..So I m trying to be as relaxed as I can, and hopefully this will be a succesful pregnancy….If you re reading this, please keep me in your prayers!!!

L

 

Waiting to POAS… December 5, 2008

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Soooo…Still waiting…I´m now 12DPO I think….not really 100% sure…So I´ve been getting daily progesterone shots since Monday! , only 5 days and I´m REALLY sore….anyways, my OB asked me to get a blood pregnancy test on Monday and we´ll see…So yesterday I was really stressing about it and I got a HPT, so at around 11:30 I did the test…Now I know maybe it was kind of early, and also it wasn´t the first urine of the day….anyways I´m pretty sure it was a BFN, I´m saying this, cause i waited for about 10-15 minutes, and I THINK, I might have seen a very very very faint line….It´s crazy the things we do!! I was holding the HPT against the sun from the window, with a flashlight, in different rooms with different lights!!! so I think I might have seen a very very faint line, wich was almost nothing….It´s really confusing!…so I decided to take one again tomorrow with the first morning urine, hoping it will be a CLEAR BFN, or hopefully a CLEAR BFP!!….DH wants me to wait until Monday for the blood test, but I just need to know what to expect…Don´t wanna take a blood test, and stess out all day until I get my results!… Ás for pregnancy signs not sure since I´ve had a cold for three days… My temps have been up, FErtility Friend has been showing a Triphasic behavior, but  then again it can also be cold related….Í´ve been feeling sleepy and dizzy, with a little nausea, but my OB told my I could experience that because of the progesterone shots!… so as you can see, there´re nothing very realiable right now……..I´ll keep you posted, and keep me in your prayers!!!!!

L

 

TWW??? November 24, 2008

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So not sure but I might be on my first TWW since my miscarriage…. My OPK was positive on Sunday, CD20, and my temp had a rise on sunday morning and today….I´m thinking yesterdays rise was because of me getting a cold….and today, not sure if it´s that I ovulated or still the cold….not sure what to think, but I´ve decided not to stress about it, since everything i could do it´s done….so I now have to get a progesterone test on 7DPO, and we´ll se if we start the progesterone shots……so not much to do but wait , and try to be as stress free as I can……DH has been reminding me that this is our first try, and it might take us several months, and that is perefectly normal….of course I really really hope is as soon as it can be, but I have to be pacient and hopeful that ít´ll happen soon……

L

 

Soooooo confused!!! HELP November 23, 2008

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So I´ve been doing the OPK since CD 12, yesterday it was CD19 and I had totally lost hope, and thought this might be a cycle without ovulation, maybe because of the BCP of last month….so Yesterday the result of my OPK was clearly negative at 2:00, but if you looked really close you could see that the top of the line was slightly darker than the rest of the line, but I´ve read that the line has to be AS DARK or darker than the reference line…..Also since yesterday I´ve been feeling like I´m getting a cold, and my throat has been really really sore…So today I take my temp as usual, and is higher, so inmediately think that I maybe ovulated yesterday, but then, I might be getting sick, so don´t know…..Anyways I decided to take an OPK, and I think it is now positive (I´m attaching a pic, tell me what you think!), it is as dark as the reference line especially on the left border of the line…..sooooooooooo, here´s the dilemma did I ovulate yesterday, or I ´m about to ovualte and the temp rise was beacuse of my sore throat???? AS you can see I can´t stop thinking about it, mainly because if I´m about to ovuate, I BD this morning so I think I´m covered, but if I ovulated yesterday SAturday, I BD on thursday night but couldn´t on friday and saturday!!!! Anywasy, I´m calling my ob tomorrow, see what he thinks and I guess I´ll start the progesterone shots tomorrow!!!!!!! WISH ME LUCk, and hopefully I´m about to ovualte today!!!!

 

sooooooooo confused!!!! HELP November 23, 2008

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dsc04427

 

Hating OPK´s…. November 19, 2008

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 So, I´m on CD 16….still no positive OPK….on my last 5 cycles i´ve been ovulating between days 14 and 16…Only after my miscarriage I had a late ovulation on CD 26…..so not sure whats going on…..I think it might be that I was on BCP last month…Maybe ovaries are taking their sweet time to ovualate!!! don´t know, but I´m getting a little bit frustrated of POAS every day, to see a very very faint line…..so I guess I´ll have to wait, and I hope I DO ovulate this cycle…..I´ve been getting more CM since yesterday so hopefully that must be a sign that it´s coming…..I guess what´s stressing me out is that I need to know exactly when I ovulate, if I ovulate, so I can call my OB and start the progesterone shots1!!! so , I hope tomorrow I´ll have better news!!!!  Keep me in your prayers!!

Hope everyone is doing great!!!

 

L

 

OPK & PIO November 18, 2008

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So basically I´m just waiting to get a positive OPK….I was just checking FF and for the past months I´ve been ovulating between day 14 or 16….Right now I´m on cd14…so far the line on the OPK has been really really faint….so I don´t know if this cycle will be as the other ones, or if this will be somewhat different due to the fact that I was on BCP last cycle, trying to get rid of my cyst, which I thankfully did!…..so I´ve also heard of some women doing opk´s twice a day, so they don´t miss the surge….so I thought I might start doing that!!! any advise on opk´s????? so, there´s not much I can do, but wait for a + test, and BD every other day!!!!    I´ve also been looking for info about PIO shots (Progesterone in Oil), I will be starting this after I ovulate, since my Ob thinks I have a short luteal phase (11 days) and might have a prog. deficiency….I was actually pretty scared of this shots, since my tolerance to pain is not very good…So I found some interesting videos on you tube, and after seeing a bunch of them I´m not as scared and actually I´ve found very good tips on how to try to make it as pain free as possible…what amazes me is that some of them are actually giving the shots themselves!!!!! I´m so scared of needles that I don´t know if I´ll be able to, and thankfully DH has agreed to do them….so here are some of the links in case you´re interested….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4KSCI7xSMo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGjZm5uXwy4&feature=related

 

and so I wait….. November 7, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — livinganddreaming @ 11:29 pm
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So basically,

Waiting for my cyst to go away, CHECK!

Waiting for my period to come, CHECK!!

Waiting to ovulate, NOT YET

So I got my period on Tuesday, it actually made my day!!! So next week on Thursday I´ll start using my OPK, and basically wait to get a positive, call my Ob, start progesterone shots for 2 weeks, and test……. Here´s hoping i do ovulate this cycle, since the last one I was taking BCP, and that might have screwed up a little my cicle…

After my miscarriage I was desperately needing to find support anywhere…So I started reading several blogs, from so many women, and it was amazing the support I felt….I felt I was understood….I felt it was ok to feel what I was feeling…i knew it was ok to still feel the heartache after several months….most of all, I knew I was not ALONE…..I made this blog, so I could talk about I was going through and to let all my feelings out…..I do not talk about this process I´m going through with a lot of people…It´s only mostly this blog, my DH, my mom and sister, and 3 friends who are currently and have been struggling to get pregnant….. So if you´re also struggling you´ll know  that it isn´t easy for me to talk about this with my friends who already have kids, or that had it really easy getting pregnant, without them thinking I´m stressing out about it… So yesterday I had lunch with a really close friend, and she asked me how everything was going, and If I was TTC again, after my miscarraige….and she made me remember why I DON´T talk about this…. So I tell her that basically my OB thinks I might have a short luteal phase (I obviously have to explain to her what that is, since she´s never heard of it before), and that I will be needing prog. shots after I ovulate, etc etc etc…..and she goes on to tell me that MY problem is that I´m stressing out, and that I´m planning too much!, that I need to be relaxed, not think about, and just let things happen…..mmmmhh??? so, I try to explain to her as politely as I can, that I might have a prog. deficiency, to fix that I NEED to get progesteron shots, and for that I NEED to track ovulation, and for that I NEED to use OPK…so yes, I think it´s not so easy to NOT think about it, when I have to use a daily OPK until I get a + , and since after that, I will probably be SORE AS HELL, from getting daily prog. shots….so yes, I think is IMPOSSIBLE, to not think about it!!!   and this is why I don´t talk to people about it!!!!!  anyways just a little rant, I just hate people makng me feel as if it´s my fault and I´m not pregnant or as if I´m stressing to much about it…..and this is why I started this blog, cause it´s one of the only places where I actually feel understood!!

So, anyways, have a GREAT WEEKEND!!

L

 

CYST FREE!!!! November 3, 2008

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Well as you can probably imagine my appointment today went GREAT!!!! my OB gave me the great news that I no longer have the cyst on my right ovary!!! This means, I don´t have to take BCP this next month, and I will be able to FINALLY start TTC as soon as I get my period, which should be here any time now!!!! We also discussed about me being worried about having a shortish luteal phase, mostly 11 days, he says while 11 days is not considered a luteal phase defect, he really prefers seeing a 12-14 day luteal phase…so since I´ve already had a miscarriage we´ll be trying to stay on the safe side and I´ll be receiving DAILY progesterone shots each cycle after ovulation…..So each cycle I´ll start prog. after ovulation, and 14 days later have a pregnancy test done, if it´s negative , I´ll stop the progesterone and start a new cycle…But when I do get a positive I´ll have to continue the daily injected progeterone for the first 3months of pregnacy…DH has agreed to learn , since he´ll be the one giving me the progesterone shots……So I guess I´ll be SORE as hell! but then again I´ll be more relaxed and I know at the end it will be worth the pain!!!!! so, I´m just waiting for AF to show, and baby making time!!!!!!! Wish me luck!!!! anyone here has had progesterone problems or short luteal phases???

 

Wish me luck!! October 31, 2008

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Well, this Monday I have my next visit to my OB!!! so I´m actually not as nervous as I thought I might be….On my last appointment they found a 4 cm cyst on my right ovary…then 10 days later had another ultrasound and it now was 2cm, so I had to take a month of BCP to try to make it dissapear…so today I took my last pilll…and on Monday,  I will know it it´s still there, if its smaller, bigger, or hopefully GONE!!! best case scenario it will be gone, and will be able to start TTC again this next cycle….So I´ve actually been pretty busy, and have not had the chance to stress out too much!! So keep ur fingers crossed for me!!!!! Hope on Monday I´ll have great news!!!! have a great weekend!! and Happy Halloween!!!!!!

 

 
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